Entry: Appreciation Feb 17, 2004

Amidst all the anxiety about debt and further economising, pausing to appreciate the deep simple pleasures of life: the beautiful drives through the mountains each morning at dawn and the companionship, the study on Johnís gospel again tonight, The easy warm atmosphere of the workplace. Before leaving home sitting by lamplight this morning, I was reading Thomas Moore on saturnalias, the strange dark gift of depression, all bound up with painful emptiness and a sense of death, the extinction of self. This following a sad email from Damian in New Zealand, whose marriage is unhappy and who at the age of 50 is suffering persistent melancholy and meaninglessness. I wouldnít say to him that this is a gifting experience as he struggles with painful emptiness and a bitter discontent when looking back on his life, but there is certain weight and raw honesty in his writing that I havenít seen before. Saturn conferring gravitas. And perhaps that is what may come out of this present experience for me may be a new depth and mindfulness. a closeness to You.

The Cape bauhinia red-orange and cascading over walls and fences around the village. Like the pale blue flowering plumbago sprawling so lazily at roadsides and in the shelter of old whitewashed farm walls.


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